I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The air was thick with penises
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
