Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Help. Why am I so naked?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
