Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
