I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
