life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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