You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
