what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
