So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
