Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
not ubering you a puppy
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
