??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
