so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
