Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
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