I don't usually arrange sex via text message
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
