There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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