I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
