are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
