"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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