We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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