I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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