i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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