mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
