You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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