just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he fucked my hip out of place.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
