Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
