i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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