wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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