i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Randomize
