A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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