...so i touched it.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
