We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
