your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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