Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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