we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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