I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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