I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
