OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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