i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
