would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
