to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
