How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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