i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
