I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
