So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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