She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
