Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Do vagina's smell?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
