did you get engaged???
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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