somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
50% drunk capacity currently
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
