Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
