Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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