Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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