I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
