i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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