But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
