all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
